The Dreaded Mirror ……….

Other people. Ever notice how some of them drive you crazy? To the point where you don’t want to be around them anymore, or have to tell them to either shut up or go away? I have a problem there, my own little problem, but I’m a peacemaker. I make peace everywhere I go. It is exhausting. I made peace between my mother and father starting when I was 3 or younger, probably younger. Then between my mother and sister the rest of my mother’s life. Then I tried to make peace between me and my sister, but she wasn’t having it. I’m the BAD GUY. Yep, me the peacemaker is the bad guy. And now making peace between me and my adult son. LOL. Peace is driving me nuts.

Relationships are not my favorite thing. Personally I’d be happy if I never saw another person. God, however, has dictated that I cannot have that perfect isolation. Not now, maybe someday but He’s not making any promises here. Since I’m on this Earth to help other people my purpose kind of explodes if I am not around any other people, no?

My reason for desiring isolation is that I always get it wrong. I always either take someone at face value and then get surprised on down the road, or I like someone a lot and THEN get surprised on down the road. I’ll give you two good examples.

Years ago I had a group reading at a home. I did these a lot during the week. Six or more people at your party and I would read you free. It was always a fun but tiring evening for me.

I set up the tape recorder and got ready. I read 8 or 9 people. The next day I get a call that none of their tapes recorded. They wanted to have their readings done over again. I told my reader friend and she exploded. She said the tape was an extra, not what they paid for. And she told me I could never duplicate those readings and THEY were supposed to write it down or remember it.

I called the hostess back and explained that I could not do those readings. She said then she wouldn’t be having any additional groups. I said that’s fine.

A couple months later, all the people that were at that group came to me individually. Seems stuff they remembered I said, happened. Surprise. Anyway the hostess came too. Over the course of the next twenty years we became good friends. We talked on the phone daily and got together whenever we could. 

Around the 20 year mark she asked me to talk to her daughter, whom I knew just slightly and had read a couple of times. I started talking to her. We emailed back and forth while I was in PEI. She was feisty, much feistier than her mother. And she was a tad spiteful and would drop things about her mother that I didn’t know. Things about the past family issues, and such. Also with the feistiness was a bad marriage. A horrible bad marriage and she wasn’t going to do anything about it due to some health issues she was dealing with at the time.

We made our move back to the states then and it was exhausting and weird. We’d gone from Detroit to PEI and then from PEI to Maine. Prince Edward Island is remote. It is quiet and we lived in the country, which was even quieter. Hearing a coyote was a novelty. Hearing people only happened during fishing season when they were fishing on our dam. Hearing sirens wasn’t something I had to put up with.

We come here and I can’t sleep. There’s so much street noise I’m ready to scream at the drop of a hat. It’s hot and we have to have the window open. I don’t have any sleeping pills like I did in Canada because US doctors won’t prescribe them unless you’re on your death bed and then you need a note from your mother.

So I was stressed. We all got colds too the minute we got back. Bad nasty colds probably from the stress of moving AGAIN. One morning, about 5 minutes after I dragged myself out of bed, I got a call. Now she could call me instead of email because I no longer was out of the country. She was yelling. She’d had surgery and it hadn’t worked. Her husband had been no help. She had complained her mother wasn’t coming up to see her so I told her mother and her mother went. She complained that I shouldn’t have done that because now her mother would get all the attention.

I got the message. I was going to be damned whether I did or not. I chose not.

I graciously explained that I had not slept for 3 weeks and that right now I need a little space. The phone almost blew up in my ear! I wasn’t supposed to NEED anything. So I said well I have to go now because I just got up so talk to you later.

I got off the phone. I hadn’t talked to her mother for a while because she was “busy” and wanted to wait until we actually had time to talk. She wasn’t too busy to give her cousin my number so he could get some free psychic advice. I was starting to get steamed big time.

And then I thought. Hmm. Someone who was yelling all the time. Check, I was doing that. Someone who didn’t have time for me. Check I was doing that to my family. Someone who wanted help. Check, that was me.

And I remembered something that Edgar Cayce had said, or someone like him, or everybody, seriously cannot remember. But the gist is that everyone in your life is a karmic relationship. Everyone. Even the check out girl at the store.

If there is something that irritates you about the other person, take a good long look. Because it is you. It is being mirrored back at you by God or the Universe or whatever you want to think of as the Supreme Being. You are being given a lesson.

Will it work? Will you change yourself so you can quit running into you all over the place and driving yourself NUTS? 

I did. It didn’t preserve those relationships, but it helped me see why they were not going to function. They weren’t healthy for me. There was too much negativity there, and not all mirrored from me. So I gradually stepped back. Gradually let go. I think we’re all happier for it.

So assess what’s going on with people who are making you crazy. Is it something you’re not facing about you? Or is it truly just time to move on knowing the relationship has served its purpose? You will know. Meditate on it. And stay in the moment ………. always in the moment.

Namaste, Jennifer

 

Leave a Reply